This month in our curriculum, A Year of Playing Skillfully, we are focusing on the character trait of forgiveness.

Webster's 1828 Dictionary defines forgiveness as “to pardon, to overlook an offense and treat the offender as not guilty.” We thought this was a very matter-of-fact definition for such a complex emotional process. Listen to Episode 31 of the Play Skillfully where Kathy and Lesli have a frank talk about what teaching children about forgiveness can look like in your home. 

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“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.”

— William Arthur Ward

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1. Examine your own family history with forgiveness. We don’t want to parent on auto-pilot! Did your family easily forgive? Did your parents apologize to you and ask for forgiveness? How would you like to do things differently with your family? 

2. Recognize that with small children, the foundation of forgiveness is developing the idea of inherent worth. Use stories such as “Horton Hears a Who” by Dr. Suess to develop empathy for others. After using stories to develop the idea of inherent worth, we want to move onto developing ideas of kindness, respect, and generosity. When a child is about 6 years old, they can developmentally begin to understand the causes and effects of people’s actions. 

3. Remember that forgiveness sometimes takes time! It does not always mean immediate reconciliation. Forgiveness is a choice and should never be forced on a child before they are ready.

4. Always be there to help your child name their feelings. Validate their feelings of anger, sadness, or frustration without validating unwanted behavior that can come along with it. 

5. Forgiveness demonstrates resilience, and this is a quality our children really need to take into their futures. They need the ability to repair, reframe and move on from conflict. Holding onto anger and resentment creates anxiety and depression. It is necessary for our mental health to learn to forgive.
   

Stories that build the foundation for forgiveness:

Horton Hears a Who by Dr Seuss

Mrs. Rosey Posey and the Yum-Yummy Birthday Cake by Robin Jones Gunn

The Berenstain Bears and the Golden Rule by Mike Berenstain 

I Forgive You: Love We Can Hear, Ask For, and Give by Nicole Lataif

Punk the Skunk Learns to Say I’m Sorry by Misty Black

How to Apologize by David LaRochelle

The Circles All Around Us by Brad Montegue

The Friend Who Forgives Storybook: A true story about how Peter failed and Jesus forgave by Dan Dewitt 

Today we are doing some social-emotional and sensory play! It has been such a long day getting five children to their various parties and obligations. My 8-year-old decided that we should set up a beauty shop while we had our devotions so that I could relax, and Rosie could brush my hair, lotion my hands, and put sparkles on my eyes. It was a wonderful idea, and Rosie enjoyed listening to the story and treating Mommy like Queen Esther. Rosie is the kind of little one who makes messes if she doesn’t get enough sensory input, so after a day in the car, lots of slippy lotion was a great treat.

It was such a nice relaxing time, and Rosalie was listening carefully to our devotion. Like her mama, she listens better when she has something to do with her hands! We talked about looking forward to the offering at church this weekend, which is benefiting a women’s and children’s shelter. Our children had an opportunity to work for some friends this week and were paid today. Today’s teaching helped them see that they can be a bridge to the King for some suffering families. They are eagerly awaiting this weekends offering to bring their gifts in honor of the Baby King.

When you unwrap your worth in the Gift of Christ, you release your grip on all the other gifts. You are loved and carried and secure, and what else do you need when you have Him? You are free, free, to lavishly give away your gifts when all your value, worth, joy and riches are in the greatest of gifts.

-Unwrapping the Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp

The story of Elijah’s faith is one of the coolest in the Bible. Can you imagine being there when Elijah prayed to God, asking Him to send fire (on wet wood) so that everyone would know that He is the ONE, true God? I am sure there were more than a few fist pumps going around as the fire lit up the sky.

This story is one of the easier ones for preschoolers to understand because fire is a concrete concept. Your young one has probably already seen fire many times. They may have even experienced fire while roasting s’mores in your backyard.

But Elijah whispered, “Please send fire, one real God, so everyone will know you are the one real God.” And fire fell like flaming stars out of the sky.

– Unwrapping the Greatest Gift – p.92

Make a fire and gather around it for today’s lesson. Draw your young listeners into this story simply by changing your voice, dimming the lights, or using hand motions.

Finish off the evening with s’mores or other special family snack around the fire. Share examples from your own life when God strengthened your faith.

Only 9 more days until we celebrate Jesus’ birthday!

People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. – 1 Samuel 16:7

Today’s advent devotional is about Samuel choosing king David. We are going to talk with our preschoolers about hidden things today!

Slice some apples so that you can see the star inside, and point it out to your children. Share the apples together as you read your family devotional.

If you have any left over, let your preschoolers stamp star wrapping paper!

“Why should the eye be so lazy? Let us exercise the eye until it learns to see,” writes G.K. Chesterton. Let us exercise the eye until it sees through the fat of things, down to the eternal of things. Let us exercise the eye by walking with Christ.

There is the call for every Christian to answer his calling to be an ocular surgeon. Our seeing must cut through surfaces and down to souls.

– Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift

Today’s Unwrapping the Greatest Gift lesson is one of my favorites. Gifts. Unexpected Gifts. Even as a grown woman I get excited over unexpected gifts. Especially when I have been in a season of sadness, disappointment, or confusion. Those are the times the unexpected gifts are the sweetest. I wonder if that is how Joseph felt so many years ago when he received the unexpected gift of his family reunion? My favorite part of this story is when Joseph shares with his family that what was meant for bad by men, was meant for good by God. LOVE that.

Of course, one of the most talked about parts of this story is the coat, that beautiful coat of colors that Joseph received from his father. As we considered how to help your young ones connect with today’s story, we thought it would be beautiful to offer them their own unexpected gift. A rainbow surprise. During nap time or other quiet time (haha, we have so many of those), tape a rainbow of crepe paper across a room or narrow hallway. When your young one discovers this unexpected gift of many colors, they will enjoy climbing and crawling their way back to you. Just like Joseph. After Joseph received his “rainbow” coat, God took him on an unexpected journey that led him right back to his family.

As we read today’s devotional in Unwrapping the Greatest Gift with our preschoolers, today’s activity is a simple one. Block play. Block play is one of the most valuable educational activities young child can engage in, and is often overlooked. Studies show that preschoolers and toddlers who play with blocks frequently have significantly higher math skills in high school. Building with blocks builds motor coordination and spatial skills, encourages problem solving, and creativity. For more information on the science behind block play and preschoolers, and how to use blocks with your child to build language and social skills, check out this informative article at Parenting Science.

But isn’t this just playing? Won’t it be a distraction for them?

Yes, it is play, but also work. And it shouldn’t be a major distraction. As a matter of fact, a basket of blocks is a wonderful tool to help children of all ages focus during read-aloud time. Many children are able to listen better when they have something to do with their hands.  While they are working, they are taking in more than you think! We like to vary our construction materials, and rotate blocks, Lincoln Logs, and Tinker Toys and Duplo during our read-aloud times.

The blocks you see in this picture come from an art activity from A Year of Playing Skillfully,  our home school curriculum for children three to seven. This was an ongoing art project in shapes and color value that delighted our children and provided our family with a huge basket of these gorgeous blocks.

Today in Unwrapping the Greatest Gift, we are talking about Jacob and his ladder. Provide some construction toys for your child to explore while you read.

See, Jesus doesn’t just come down to show you the steps you have to take to get up to heaven – Jesus comes down and makes Himself into the steps to carry you up to heaven. 

Everybody else may tell you the steps you have to take  to get better. But Jesus is the only One who becomes the steps to take you there Himself- because He loves you already, just as you are.

Jesus doesn’t wait for you to be good. He comes to be with us who are having very awful, miserable, no-good days right now. Jesus comes to carry us who are feeling mad and bad and sad and anything but glad, and He left heaven to be with us who feel left out. Jesus comes to us who seem to get every step wrong – He becomes the step just to get us.

– Ann Voskamp, Unwrapping the Greatest Gift

Today’s preschool sensory activity focuses on the fizzy bubbly laughter that Sarah laughed when God told her that she would have a child. We are going to let our little ones have a little fizzy fun! Pour some baking soda into a pan or tray. Fill some small cups with white vinegar tinted with food coloring. Add some medicine droppers or pipettes. (The ones from our color mixing kit will work perfect for this)

Let your little one drop the colored water on the baking soda…make sure you tell them “No pouring, only dripping” or it will be over pretty quick! Ask me how I know. This is a wonderful fine motor/art/science activity for preschoolers!

I was thinking about laughter today, and remembering back to one of my favorite times with my children. I’m normally not a beach person, and rarely get into the water. Sharks and tsunamis and all. I prefer to watch them all play from the comfort of a beach chair with a book and a Diet Coke in hand. Dad is usually the one taking them out into the waves, and giving me a heart attack with how far out they go. But my daughter begged me to come in, and I obliged. I played tag with the waves for her a bit and began to enjoy myself. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an unusually strong wave came up and knocked me completely over. My daughter looked at me sitting in the sand with seaweed in my hair, and we both began to belly-laugh so hard. Her bright eyes crinkled with laughter…I still remember her face. I will always remember that simple moment as one of the very best of my entire life. I’m so glad I got out of that beach chair and played with my child.

Joy is the gigantic secret gift that God gives us and we never stop unwrapping. We were once all alone, but now we’ve been given a Child – the many-many-many-great-grandson of Abraham, the Baby Jesus. And Jesus makes us laugh because he’s coming to save us and free us from all our fears.

                                                                                 – Unwrapping the Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp  

For tomorrow you will need some nubby yarn in different colors, wooden clothespins, a little bit of cardboard, and some black felt or paper scraps.  We will be practicing some fine motor skills making some sheep!

Toddlers and Preschoolers love sensory water play. This does not have to be restricted to outdoors or the bathroom. Beach towels are one of our favorite tools for preschool sensory water play! At the Homegrown Preschooler, we keep a big stack around just so we can say “Yes” more often! If you double fold a few beach towels on the floor and give a little one a sturdy tub with a few inches of water in it, they will happily spoon and pour. As their little hands splash in the water, deep inside their brains, neurons form synapses! This is powerful brain building play! We will use this sensory play to help our children focus during our family devotion.

Today in Unwrapping the Greatest Gift we point our families back to Noah and God’s care for him in the flood.

God’s love for you made Him weep over all our sadness and sin, and His heart filled with ache and spilled like a flood. And God offered everyone a gift, a rescue, a massive wooden ark – an ark much like a cradle on water – and He whispered, “Come to the ark.”

Offer your little ones a little water to play with. It doesn’t take much to make them happy…not enough to do any damage, and your towels are right there to take care of any accidental splashing. Remind them that they can play quietly with the water while you read, and that the water will help them listen. We provided a few sea animals, measuring cups, spoons and a turkey baster. Be creative and use what you have around the house.

“Where are you?”

This is the first question recorded in the bible…and a question that comes out of my mouth daily with my little one. Rosie is a hider! Just this morning she ran and hid as I ran her bath. “Where are you?” I called. I saw little bare toes peeking out from under the bed. “Oh man, you found me!” she exclaimed through her giggles as I tickled and kissed her toes. I found her with love in mind. And God finds us with love in mind too, despite our disobedience. Becoming a parent teaches one so much about His love for us.

Day 3 of Ann Voskamp’s advent devotional Unwrapping the Greatest Gift deals with the fall of man. A heavy story for preschoolers…but she handles this hard truth so well. With our little ones, we are emphasizing that there is nowhere we can hide from God’s love for us. Play lots of hide and seek today!

Our focus activity for family devotions today is a sensory bin of things to find. We filled a Christmas tin with red and white dried beans, and added some colored counters. You could use coins or small toys as well. We gave her the bean container with a slit cut in to drop the counters into as she finds them.

We will bring this activity out periodically throughout the week, perhaps hiding different items and reinforcing the idea that there is nowhere we can hide from God’s love!

In all of humanity’s religions, man reaches after God.

But in all His relationships, God reaches for man.

Reaches for you who have fallen and scraped your heart raw,

for you who feel the shame of words that have snaked off your tongue and poisoned corners of your life,

for you who keep trying to cover up pain with perfectionism.

Three words come through the thicket of failure:

“WHERE ARE YOU?”

Your God refuses to give up on you.

–The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas by Ann Voskamp

Our family enjoyed reading and discussing Day 1 of Unwrapping the Greatest Gift yesterday. We started a prayer list and came up with ways to show love to others this Christmas season. Some of the things the children planned were: to watch children for a young mother, make food for a hurting family, and make cards for a friend recently diagnosed with cancer. I am excited to see how our family loves and learns this advent season.

As we mentioned yesterday, this is a beautiful book. I love turning each page and seeing the beautiful photos and meaningful words.

As Lesli and I thought about how to help toddlers and preschoolers connect this lesson, we decided to offer a tissue paper collage. This is an engaging activity that provides young ones plenty to do as they listen to today’s story about God creating the world out of love.

All you will need for this activity is blue and green tissue paper, glue sticks and a paper plate. You can invite your young one to tear the paper into little strips or you can have them cut ahead of time. Encourage them to cover the entire plate to make the beautiful world. Punch a hole in the paper plate and hang somewhere special as a reminder of today’s lesson.