Kathy and I recorded this podcast several weeks ago, BEFORE we knew how much patience the world was going to need. We hope this timely episode on patience fills your cup today, and helps your last nerve stretch a little bit farther. This is the first in our series of podcasts on Character traits. We will be adding one per month to go along with the character traits in our curriculum A Year of Playing Skillfully and A Summer of Playing Skillfully. We hope you enjoy this podcast!
Some notes on Patience:
Definition from Websters 1828 Dictionary:
PATIENCE, noun pa'shens. [Latin patientia, from patior, to suffer.]
1. The suffering of afflictions, pain, toil, calamity, provocation or other evil, with a calm, unruffled temper; endurance without murmuring or fretfulness. patience may spring from constitutional fortitude, from a kind of heroic pride, or from Christian submission to the divine will.
2. A calm temper which bears evils without murmuring or discontent.
3. The act or quality of waiting long for justice or expected good without discontent.
Tips for building patience in yourself:
1. Relationships over results. Also consider the fragility of the people you are dealing with. Be gentle. You honestly never know what other people are dealing with at home, or what broken system they are trying to work within. The way we respond to others is on display to our children.
2. Educate yourself in the developmental stages of your kids, so that your expectations are reasonable.
3. Check yourself first: Are we frustrated with them because we were unprepared, disorganized or unrested? Are we communicating clearly what our expectations are? Are we expecting others to read our minds? Do we need some self-care?
4. Be mindful of the verbal and non-verbal cues we are giving. (Eye rolling, sarcasm, belittling people, sighing heavily, foot-tapping,)
5. Protect your own quiet prayer time. There is nothing that makes me gentler with people than spending time with my gentle Lord. He is so so patient with us and I need to keep that conduit open in order to pour it out on others. My kids have occasionally looked at me wide-eyed and said “Did you miss your quiet time today?
A note on the spiritual implications of impatience.
We are not inclined toward patience. And we can let our impatience masquerade as righteous anger and justify it. The biblical meaning of patience is not passive waiting. The Greek word implies an active enduring and persevering through irritation and trials. So trust in the Lord, He’s working all of these things for our good.
Building it within your kids:
1. Observe potential triggers and target them specifically. These could potentially be: turn taking, losing at games, hunger, perfectionism, frustration with building new skills, keeping up with siblings, etc.
2. Validate their feelings of frustration. Usually the FEELING behind the frustration is valid, but maybe not the BEHAVIOR.
3. Problem solve out loud to yourself when you are feeling impatient. “This traffic is so hard to sit in! Let’s make it more fun by playing our favorite songs. Everyone choose one!” “I am so hungry right now, but it is still one hour before dinner! Maybe I will drink a big glass of water!” Use humor whenever possible.
4. Honor your commitments. Minutes are meaningless, especially when we say “in a minute” when we don’t really mean it. They are not dumb. Use visual timers such as hour glasses or visual kitchen timers.
5. Play games. Freeze Dance, Duck Duck Goose and Mother, May I build listening and patience.
6. Compliment and reward it when you see it “Hey, nice waiting!” “I noticed earlier that you were so patient when your brother wanted to play with your new Lego, so we will have a special dessert tonight!”
Thanks for listening. If you have topics you would like for us to discuss or people you would like to hear from, let us know. Just email us playskillfully@thehomegrownpreschooler.com or shoot us a message on social media.
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